Practical Matters

The service is over. The commotion has died down. Your visitors have left. You may feel completely numb.

Or perhaps you feel searing physical pain, starting from your heart.

You are probably exhausted. You simply cannot face all the tasks you know must be done. None of it seems important anymore.

Don't rush yourself. Take all the time you need. Know that you are doing the very best you can at each moment. When you are ready, there are a few practical matters to be looking after, including:

• Writing to friends and family

• Sorting through belongings

• Organizing the household

The Grandma and Grandpa Room

Elizabeth Kummeth of Goshen, Indiana, wrote me of the unique way her family coped with a double loss.

"My parents both died early last year, within 10 weeks of each other, and it is still hard to believe they are not here any longer.

My husband and I have a four-bedroom home, so I emptied one of the bedrooms (my daughters were delighted to get all the goodies) and I have filled it and decorated it with things that belonged to my parents and grandparents (such as my grandparents' bedroom set, the folks' chair, pictures on the wall, etc.).

When we walk into that room, it's like going into their home. It's great and my daughter made a beautiful sign for the door that says, 'The Grandma and Grandpa Room.'

I have mother's old folding wooden clothes rack where I have placed different towels, aprons and laces that she had done. On the bed is linen that she crocheted, lace edgings, quilts and the old chenile bedspread.

It truly is a room filled with beautiful memories, and has been very therapeutic for me."

Send sympathy cards by email

I've discovered a lovely site, Inspire21, that features inspirational, motivational greeting cards for special occasions, including sympathy cards.

The cards are beautifully designed, with custom calligraphy and hand lettering. The text draws on famous quotations and Bible verses.

You can enter your own personal message ... and even choose the date on which the card will be sent.

Perhaps because these cards and the site are put together by a real human being — Pete Barkelew — rather than a large greeting card company, the cards at Inspire21 have an especially warm feeling to them.