The Funeral Service

A funeral service is one in which the body is present.

At a memorial service, it is not.

Sometimes it makes sense to have a funeral in one place, and then to have a memorial service later someplace else.

At most funerals, a member of the clergy presides, and the service is held within three days of the death.

The casket is usually closed during the service, although it may be opened at the end for a viewing.

Following the service, the body is buried or cremated.

How do you see the service?

If you are thinking about a funeral or memorial service as the best way to say farewell, what are your goals for this service? Take a moment to write them down.

Here is an example:

1. To create a ceremony that celebrates Richard's life

2. To help myself and the other survivors express our grief and to comfort each other

3. To ensure that Richard's body is treated with respect and is disposed of as he would have wished

Your own goals might include reaffirming spiritual values, or healing old family wounds, or even helping your loved one to make the transition from this life to the next.

All the other choices you make — from the type of casket to the form of the ceremony — will be easier if your initial goals for the funeral service are clear.

Once you have a picture in mind, the next questions become:

• How can I best accomplish these goals?

• How do I turn these goals into a specific funeral or memorial service?

Before planning the details, spend a few moments visualizing the kind of service you want.

The committal service

The committal (or commitment) service is held at the graveside before the body is buried, or at the crematory before the cremation. When held at the graveside, this ceremony is sometimes called the interment service.

For much more on funeral planning...

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